Monday, July 13, 2009
Go F#CK YOURSELF AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING
Every day there’s another study telling me that something is bad for me. First it was cigarettes, binge drinking, unprotected sex, and Coke (both kinds). Then they added bacon cheeseburgers, cookie dough and Kentucky Fried anything. What’s next — Ben and Jerry’s Coconut Almond Fudge Chip?
And what do they say is good for me? Tofu. Herring. Calorie restricted diets with lots of fruits, and vegetables and gallons of water.
Just when I thought the people who do these studies were on a personal crusade to take every ounce of fun out of my life, I tune in the news today and I find out that something I really love (and my wife wants me to cut out) is actually good for my health.
Cursing.
Richard Stephens, a psychologist at Keele University in England, had 64 undergraduates submerge their hand in a tub of ice water for as long as possible. They were told to curse their asses off and see how long they could stand the pain. Then they repeated the test with neutral words.
The scientists predicted that the nice words would help ease the pain. But no. Cocksuckingmotherfuckingshitbag works better.
There’s a whole big medical explanation if you really want it. But I need no further convincing. I might have doubted that bullshit report on Denny’s Grand Slam Breakfast, but who am I to question the fucking genius of Dr. Richard Stephens?
So how about you? Does a good healthy dose of gofuckyourselfmotherfuckingasshole make you feel better?
Marshall posted on July 13, 2009 8:58 PMFuck, yeah!
(Come on, somebody had to say it)
OK. Real answer. There are times when I let out a string of carefully placed expletives and it really does the trick. But if I get into a habit of it, its effectiveness is diminished.
If every fucking second fucking word is fucking "fuck", I am left feeling like I let myself down. Cheated, if you will. I don't like to use them as commas. Less is more, fuck.
harmzie posted on July 13, 2009 10:35 PMAbsolutely! I like to get creative too. My favorite is "monkey fucker!" It really helps.
Since having a toddler who is a little repeater, I've had to try to use substitute words. Jackhole is good word to use in traffic and you aren't technically cursing, but I had that blow back on me when my daughter started chanting "jackals! Jackals! Jackals!" in traffic. Now I just say Jackals and know in my heart what I really mean.
donna posted on July 13, 2009 11:45 PMI just so happen to have a guest today for my regular Tuesday feature who LOVES to swear and I provided her with substitute words which she professed to enjoy using...[you might know her]
I don't personally swear. I just can't make my mouth do it...[it does lots of other things well...really well...just not that] Hey! get your mind out of the gutter...I was talking about whistling...and smiling...
I worked with a bunch of guys who used the f word as a noun, verb, adverb, conjunction, pronoun and dangling participle if they could figure out how ...in every sentence with no breaks in between...after a while my inner ear just tuned out anything that they said. lol
I think one or two heartfelt expletives are more effective...especially when you hit your thumb with a frogfesting hammer.
stopped in to say "hi" ...so hi. Enjoyed the post.
Karen :0)
Halleh-fucking-lujah. Now I can tell my husband that my cursing is for medicinal purposes.
And yes, it does make me feel better, and makes me laugh in the process. I especially like the new ones like asshat, fucktard, fucksocks, fuckwit, etc. But classics like dickweed and dipshit are equally as enjoyable.
Have a fuckin' awesome day!
Suzy Voices posted on July 14, 2009 10:43 AMI try not to curse. No particular reason except A) Growing up I never ever heard my mom or dad use any really bad word. Damn, SOB at the most.
B) My hubby cusses enough for all of us.
C) I am trying to be a good influence on my children.
Although, having said all that, there are times there is no good subsitute for a four letter word. Like when you are getting shots in the top of your foot with no numbing. Or the like.
Have a super day!
debb posted on July 14, 2009 12:46 PMFunny thing... I never used to cuss before I went to law school, but by the time I graduated I was swearing like the proverbial sailor. Go fucking figure. :-P
Elizabeth White posted on July 14, 2009 12:57 PMYour readers have no fucking couth.
Jon posted on July 17, 2009 9:40 AM