Monday, September 14, 2009
SO MANY PILLOWS, SO LITTLE TIME.
I did not have sexual relations with that pillow.
This morning I was upstairs getting dressed and thinking what shall I blog about? Health care in America? The top ten reasons why I’m not moving to South Carolina? My next book?
When suddenly Kylie came bounding up the steps — a wad of cotton hanging from her mouth.
I took one look at her and I knew. And she knew I knew.
And down the steps she ran.
I ran after her trying not to let her hear me laughing.
I gave her the appropriate disciplinary response — three tugs on her collar along with no, no, no — and she hung her head in what may be considered remorse.
As extra added punishment I made little Miss Cottonmouth pose with her latest victim, and told her she’s going to be exposed to public humiliation and possibly lose some of her new found fans.
Then we went outside for a lesson in sit, stay, heel, and something must have sunk in, because it was her best performance so far.
Kylie’s report card as we approach the one month mark: She’s a wonderful dog — gentle, loving, anxious to bond, and fun to play with. Does not play well with cushions.
Not my fault, Dad. The pillow started it.
See, your captions are so much better than mine. I wish I had thought of them...
Jan posted on September 14, 2009 12:56 PMOh, the humanity!
Nenette posted on September 14, 2009 1:41 PMLOL. She is precious, Marshall! This is nothing compared to Lola... just ask Babs! Enjoy your new friend, she is adorable!
Gina posted on September 14, 2009 2:35 PMThis is hilarious. Too funny. I have never had a doggie that ate pillows. Maybe you could read to her about the intestinam problems that could result from ingesting cotton. This might cure her, if you do it monotone, she might just become cured of the problem through boredom.
Good Luck with her addiction, at least it's not doggie porn.
debb posted on September 14, 2009 4:12 PMYou ARE starting a parenting blog! I am totally coming here for advice and questions.
No. 1 - where do I get one - oops, three - of those collars that you tug on three times?
More to follow.
harmzie posted on September 14, 2009 7:44 PMTell me you did not punish that gorgeous animal!
Of course, I normally rail against the most attractive humans getting special treatment, but this-- this is different.
I'm pretty sure the pillow was asking for it...
Leah Rubin posted on September 15, 2009 10:14 PMI believe that Kylie has the makings of a great artist. I urge you to give her the support and encouragement that a dog of her creative temperament needs. And of course many many more pillows!
"The artist-dog's life cannot be otherwise than full of conflicts, for two forces are at war within him/her—on the one paw, the common longing for happiness, satisfaction and security in life, and on the other a ruthless passion for creation which may go so far as to override every human desire. There are hardly any exceptions to the rule that the human must pay dearly for the divine gift of creative fire, when it is manifest in the artist-dog."
Carl Jung
We had gotten a doberman puppy rescue and the first 3 months she loved to pee in our bed on the down comforter...it was awesome. it is hard to say if I would want pillows over a piss riden down comforter. But luckily Leelu has gotten over it. I'm sure she will kick the pillow addiction after the 12 steps.
Christina Codd posted on September 17, 2009 4:22 PM