AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM MARSHALL’S BLOG EDITOR

My name is Beth Fish. My husband Chris Cactus designed this website and we both maintain it. Marshall emails us his latest posts and always asks for our feedback before we post them. He’s been known to stretch the truth from time to time to get a laugh — no problem — poetic license. But his latest post just showed up in my inbox and I must tell you — the man is lying through his teeth. I can’t get in touch with him, so I’ve decided to post it as he wrote it — with a few cautionary editor’s notes of my own.

FEBRUARY — THE LONGEST MONTH OF THE YEAR

If you look at the calendar, February appears to only have 28 days. But when you’re sitting up here in snow country, and you’ve just gone through the blistering cold of December and January, February feels about 50 days long. I’m freezing my ass off and wondering if Spring will ever come.

FACT: Marshall flew down to the Caribbean yesterday. His ass is not freezing. It’s spending seven glorious days in the sun. The summer sun.

Right now, I’m hard at work on two fronts. First, I’m trying to get the promotional stuff organized on CUT, PASTE, KILL. Blog tour, appearances, publicity, site changes — it’s quite a challenge

FACT: Right now, I’m betting Marshall is stretched out on the beach and his biggest challenge is deciding where to go for dinner.

I’m also up late into the night working on the book that I’m co-authoring with James Patterson. The last thing I want Jim to think is that I’m not putting in the hours.

FACT: Mr. Patterson knows Marshall is on vacation, and I saw his e-mail that read, Dear Marshall, Have fun in the Caribbean. The only thing I ask is that this time you register under your name, not mine.

As I look out the window, the snow is coming down hard. Everything is white.

FACT: Except Marshall, who I’m sure will be tan.

And so, dear reader, with all that work I have on my plate, I’m sure you’ll understand why this post is not full of the usual bon mots and witty remarks.

FACT: I’m sure Marshall has a lot on his plate — but none of it has to do with work. As for what this post is full of — well, you be the judge.

Marshall posted on February 6, 2010 11:58 AM