Eight years ago when I rescued my black Lab, Jett, she had all the charm of a junkyard dog. She had flunked out of Obedience School, and I was ready to give up on her when I found Kyle.

Jett started behaving on the very first session. But the real magic happened after Kyle left. She continued to behave for me. That’s because Kyle spends as much time training the handlers as he does training the dogs.

And now, for those of you who’d like to see Kyle in action, there’s a documentary called Canine Instinct.

Directed by Nicholas Goodman it has been in film festivals from Buffalo to Honolulu. Here’s the trailer:

The film was shot two years before Jett died and she and I have a short scene in the movie. If you’d like to buy the DVD, here’s the link.

But I’m not recommending it because I’m in it. I’m recommending it to anyone who loves dogs and wants to get a glimpse into one man’s philosophy of how to build a relationship with your dog based on love, trust, and respect.

Kyle Warren’s approach has changed the lives of thousands of dog owners. I’m one of them.

But many of you prefer the F word. Fans.

According to Webster’s, a Fan is an ardent admirer or an enthusiastic devotee — probably short for fanatic.

It’s an unnerving word for an author. I mean I’ll get an email that says, “Dear Marshall, I’m your Number One Fan,” and think, oh shit, that’s what Kathy Bates said to James Caan in Misery just before she hobbled his ankles with a sledgehammer.

But after four books, I’ve come not only to accept your ardent admiration and enthusiastic devotion, but to totally appreciate it.

Many of you have bought Cut, Paste, Kill, read it, then told your friends, lobbied your libraries and your local bookstores to carry it, and posted brilliant reviews online. As of this posting I have eleven reader reviews on Amazon — every one of them 5 stars.

Writers can only write books. It’s readers who sell them, and nothing drives the online book engine like a whole bunch of readers heaping praise and stars.

So to all those of you who read Cut, Paste, Kill and took the time to hype, pimp, shill, thank you.

And if you didn’t, we’re still cool. I am grateful for your fandom. As long as you don’t show up with a sledgehammer.

Then along comes his review for Cut, Paste, Kill. It’s so glowing that at first I was almost embarrassed to reprint it.

Then I thought — am I out of my freaking mind? Commerce trumps humility, so here it is:

BOOK REVIEW | 'CUT, PASTE, KILL'
WISECRACKING DUO CRACK THEIR CASES

BY SCOTT COFFMAN • SPECIAL TO THE COURIER-JOURNAL • JUNE 26, 2010

This outstanding fourth chapter in the canon of Detectives Lomax and Biggs provides further proof of the indisputable: Marshall Karp writes the funniest dialogue in the detective genre. If you have not yet read the Lomax and Biggs books, you simply must start.

Repulsive killers find themselves sacrificed under identical circumstances; two in Los Angeles and one in Oregon. Lomax and Biggs -- the jauntily bantering duo at the heart of this winning series -- join forces with the FBI to attempt to solve these cases. All the victims were murdered similarly, and were left with a detailed scrapbook that recounted their lives and crimes, from which they escaped prosecution for various reasons.

Evidence in one case leads to a Chinese restaurant, and the owner eventually describes for the police artist a woman who turns out to be actress Betty White (turns out the older owner is a Golden Girls fan and most old white women look alike to her). Lomax and Biggs have a field day cracking wise about that identification, just as they do with most every other aspect of the case.

Despite the humor, they really are good detectives. After a great story and the introduction of many memorable characters (and some terrific red herrings) the case is successfully solved: The fun is getting there.

On the home front, Big Jim Lomax (Mike's dad) has partnered with Terry Biggs to work on a screenplay that is all the funnier because it reasonably sounds like a project that might be pursued in Hollywood despite sounding plain old bad. Mike makes fun of the project throughout the book, but is it because he is truly amused or is he perhaps jealous that Terry is spending time with his Dad? Near the end this ill-advised movie project provides a line that surprised me with such joy that I literally fell on the floor laughing.

As with all the books in this series, the major and incidental characters are lovingly created and memorably drawn. Author Marshall Karp is an exceptional wordsmith. The storytelling is so entertaining that it demands that you read just one more page and then another until you realize you've finished the book.

With series titles, I normally recommend starting with the first book, but "Cut, Paste, Kill" would be the perfect introduction to this addictive series: The repartee crackles with great humor, the characterizations are vivid, the narrative flow impeccable, and you'll be stunned by the triple-twist at the end. It's a perfect example of what makes this series great.

With Lomax and Biggs, author Marshall Karp has created a pair of detectives who will be long remembered with the great creations of the genre, and you would be wise to join the bandwagon. This is a great starting point.

Here’s the link to the review. If you know anyone who has a beach read in their future, please share it.

Thank you for supporting my life of crime.

Actually, I’ll only be leaving my wife for the day. And that hairy legged, hairy lipped, hairy chested vision of pulchritude on my arm is not just “another woman.”

She’s Joe Drabyak, the best damn bookseller in the free world, and the only one I’d drive 400 miles for on a beautiful Saturday in June.

This Saturday, June 26, at 1 pm I’ll be reading from CUT, PASTE, KILL, signing, and cutting up with Joe at the Chester County Book & Music Company in West Chester, PA.

I met Joe at a bookseller/author Schmoozefest in Portland, Oregon three years ago, and loved him from the get-go. (He had me at “hello, my name is Joe Drabyak, and I’ve been recommending your book The Rabbit Factory to everyone who walks in the store.”)

And what a store it is. Even if you’re a diehard e-reader, CCBMC is worth the trip. It's 38,000 square feet of paradise for anyone who loves books, music, and movies. And if you enjoy New Orleans style cuisine their in-store restaurant, The Magnolia Grill, is so good some people show up just for the food.

Chester County Book & Music Company has everything — and this Saturday at 1pm it’s also got me. So come on down (or up, or over) and meet me and Joe.

Oh yeah… about that dress. It’s not a wardrobe malfunction. When I met Joe he told me that several authors had made him a character in their books and he loved it. So in Flipping Out I created Jo Drabyak, and then put a bullet through her pretty little head. Joe/Jo reciprocated by showing up at my last event in drag.

And while I hate to disappoint you, I’m sorry to say that this Saturday Joe will not be wearing his pearls or his pound and a half of makeup.

Which is really too bad — he’s not nearly as pretty as a guy.

And get this — both books can be yours for only $9.99. (That would sound a lot more convincing if Vince Shlomi the ShamWow Guy said it.)

For those of you who have already read those first two books, the Kindle versions of Flipping Out and Cut, Paste, Kill are also available on the Amazon ala carte menu.

And finally, for those of you who visit this blog to read my random rants, vapid insights, and ponderous non-sequiturs, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but every now and then we interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to help pay for all the free stuff.

So please, buy a book. Or buy the combo. And no, you don’t get fries with that.

Esther Schindler is one of the top reviewers on Amazon. She ranks #106 out of about a zillion. So when Esther gives your new book 5 stars, you want to share it with the world, and shout out — “look everybody — Cut, Paste, Kill made Schindler’s list.”

Here it is in its entirety:

Perfect, PERFECT escapist mystery reading
By Esther Schindler (Scottsdale, AZ USA)
June 8, 2010

The only mystery left in my brain, after reading this latest novel by Marshall Karp, is why his books aren't stuffed into the best-seller racks in airport bookstores. Perhaps it's because a high Karp Book Density might disturb all the flight attendants, with so many passengers giggling throughout the trip. But truly... Karp has been one of my best discoveries of the past few years. His mysteries are non-obvious, the plots are engaging, and the wise-cracking duo of Lomax & Biggs -- police detectives in Los Angeles -- make me crack up. When the author offered me an Advance Reading Copy of Cut, Paste, Kill, I said ever-so-decorously, "YES YES YES!"

In this novel, the detectives need to solve a "scrapbooking" mystery. The serial killer leaves behind at each murder scene a well-crafted scrapbook documenting the victim's sins and evidence about why the individual needed to be punished. Lomax and Biggs have to figure out who's killing these people and put the murderer behind bars... even if they personally agree with the killer's sentiments.

That doesn't sound like the ingredients for a book that will make you laugh out loud in the middle of a crowded plane (even if you have been denied your god-given right to free peanuts). But Karp's characters are truly wonderful, and their wisecracking balances the hard facts of the murder case. (Early in the story, they are teamed up with a female FBI agent; they're asked if they have a problem working with a woman. "'Hell no,' Terry said. "At the end of a tough day chasing bad guys we don't care if our boss goes home and slips into a sexy little cocktail dress. It'll be almost like working for J. Edgar Hoover himself.'") Karp's strength, though, is that these aren't cardboard comedians; I have become extremely fond of the recurring characters and I want to know what happens next in their lives. The storytelling pace is infectious, causing a reliable "I'll read just one more chapter before I go to sleep... well maybe just another..." even with an 8am meeting scheduled the next day.

Incidentally, you wouldn't have to read all the previous books in the series to appreciate this novel. If you're a dedicated scrapbook fan, for instance, you will certainly enjoy Cut, Paste, Kill without the earlier novels' back story about Lomax's romance or their movie deal gone sour. It stands alone rather well, which is becoming unique in the mystery genre. I doubt you will be able to resist going back to read the other books in the series later... but it's fine to read them out of order.

The bottom line is that this is perfect summer reading -- ideal for a lazy Sunday afternoon or a holiday beach read. If you want a great "entertain me!" murder mystery, I don't think you can do better than Cut, Paste, Kill. Highly recommended... at least for people who like to giggle.

For those of you who are willing to take Esther’s word for it, here’s a link to buy the book now.

My NPR interview from Thursday has been archived for posterity. And if I sound remotely adorable, I owe it all to Joe Donahue, the engaging, erudite, insightful host of WAMC’s Roundtable.

To hear me on tape, click here.

But if you prefer your authors in the flesh please come to one of my back-to-back launch parties.

Monday June 7 at 7pm at Partners & Crime 44 Greenwich Avenue, New York, NY (more)

Tuesday June 8 at 7pm at Barnes & Noble
 1177 Ulster Avenue Mall, Kingston, NY (more)

Cut, Paste, Kill will be released this Tuesday. Right now I’m busy working on the book I’m co-authoring with James Patterson, so I don’t have as much time as usual to promote it. So do me a favor — if you like the book, please promote it for me. In other words, Read, Enjoy, Shill.

Thank you for supporting my life of crime

For those of you who hate getting newsprint on your fingers here’s the digital version.

It also comes with a video. For the record it came as a last minute surprise. The reporter just pointed a camera at me and asked me to talk. I did it under the worst of circumstances — no time, no script, and no hair and makeup people.

And here they are:

John Breiling
Kelly Jo Brownfield
Tara Cibelli
Glynnis Campbell
Kelly Cummings
Hector DeJean
Joe Donahue
Lori Gibson
Jim Gibson
Bruce Gadansky
Amy Gray
Chris High
Cullin Herwig
Graham Jaenicke
Shelly Lawter
Shelly LeBlanc
Gary Miller
Nancy Segerberg
Lauren Swan
Betsy Tuel
Johnny Walmark
Elizabeth Sneed White

You may be wondering — who are these twenty-two people and how did they wind up getting in the book?

Almost half of them busted their asses to write about, blog about, or otherwise promote Lomax and Biggs, and I’m a big believer in quid pro quo. Several of them helped me when I was researching Cut, Paste, Kill. Two work for my publisher and one works for my agent, and I’m also a big believer in sucking up. Some of them won my contests, and some won me over with their warm, funny, charming, and/or totally off the wall emails and Facebook messages. And some, as promised, had their names drawn out of a hat — totally random.

I’ll be picking a new batch of names for the next Lomax & Biggs book, so keep an eye out for random opportunities on the contest page, in my blogs or on my daily Facebook posts.

And to this year’s winners, congratulations. You are now immortal. In fiction, if not in real life.

It turns out one star is the best you can get — and not too many books get it.

My next one didn’t. The one after that didn’t either. But Cut, Paste, Kill did. Check it out.

I don’t always agree with every review, but I read this one six times.

And, damn — they’re right.

I’ve been off the grid the past few weeks. I’ve had no time for my family, my readers, my Facebook friends, my flesh and blood friends, or my furry friend, Kylie, who’s been sitting around waiting to play. (I swear I didn’t pose her. Yes, I added the water bowl, but hopping on the chair and giving me the sad puppy dog face was all her idea.)

I have a great excuse for being Persona Obscura. I’m in the final weeks of the first draft of the book I’m co-authoring with James Patterson, and since I can’t ignore Jim, I’m afraid I have to ignore you

The collaboration is going great guns. The book is a standalone thriller due out in early 2011. And that’s all I’m going to say, except that Jim is a total hoot to work with, and for all his fans who may be reading this, today is his birthday.

And now, here are a few more Lomax & Biggs updates that I would have posted if I had been posting.

Flipping Out will be released in paperback on Tuesday March 30. In addition to getting the soft cover version of the mystery Michael Connelly said was “a blast,” the back of the book will give you a sneak peek at the first two chapters of Cut, Paste, Kill.

Cut, Paste, Kill will be released in hardcover on June 8. Do I have to tell you how much it would mean if you pre-ordered now? When you pre-order, it tells the world there’s a market out there for a book. The publisher prints more, booksellers order more, and yes, I sell more books. So what’s in it for you? If I sell enough books, my publisher takes a chance and asks me to write some more. Win-win-win.

The Launch Party for Cut, Paste, Kill will be at 7 pm on Monday June 7 at Partners and Crime 44 Greenwich Ave in New York. I’ll be there, and hopefully so will Kelly, Jan, Nathan, Megan, Tracey, Lorraine, Jolene, Megan and you. If you can’t make it, contact the store and they can ship you a signed copy.

Finally — the contest winners. Every year, people enter the various contests I hold to be a character in my next book. This year 22 of you made it into the pages of Cut, Paste, Kill. In the next few weeks I’ll post your names on this site, along with some advance chapters of Cut, Paste, Kill,

But first, I have a book to write. And a puppy dog to play with.

Exit vertically.

My trip to the morgue started out as research, and became one of the more memorable moments of my writing career. (Assuming three hours qualifies as a moment.)

In Cold Blog invited me to write about it.

Founded by best selling author Corey Mitchell, In Cold Blog is written by journalists, criminal justice professionals, survivors, victim family members, advocates and like me, authors.

While I create crime fiction, I do my best to give it the ring of truth. So every word in the post is true. Including the rather unbelievable fact that the LA Morgue has a gift shop. The profits go to an excellent cause, and In Cold Blog gives you a link — in case you’re ever in the mood to shop among the dead.

When I sat down to write the book I realized I was at a huge disadvantage. While I had a lot of experience killing people, I knew nothing about scrapbooking.

I did a lot of research online, I hung around the scrapbooking department at Michael’s, and then one day I was in the Wal-Mart parking lot and I see a minivan with a bumper sticker that said: “Want to learn about scrapbooking? Call Lori.”

Next day I called her. A man answered. It was Lori’s son, Jim. When I explained what I wanted, he said he’d be glad to let me talk to Lori, but he’d have to translate.

I asked what language she spoke. “She can’t speak,” he said. “She signs. She’s deaf.”

We decided to meet in person. Me, Lori, her husband (also deaf), Jim, and his wife. We met at Barnes and Noble, where Lori showed me her scrapbooks, and over the course of a few hours did exactly what her bumper sticker said she could do. She taught me about scrapbooking.

Lori was so fascinating and so helpful that I was inspired to ask if I could write a deaf scrapbooker into the book. Her hands flew fast and furious and the smile on her face needed no translation.

CUT, PASTE, KILL will be available June 8. It’s available for pre-order now at Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble or your local independent bookseller.

I put in a lot of time trying to give it the ring of truth, and I’d appreciate your feedback on how authentic it feels to you. Especially if you’re a scrapbooker or a serial killer.

click to enlarge

It’s due June 8 and it already has a name. CUT, PASTE, KILL.

You can’t tell from the sonogram, but this baby is a killer. If you like plot twists, you’re going to love it. About a dozen people have read it, and so far nobody — nobody — saw the ending coming. And funny? You’ll wet your pants.

So, give the kid a nice home. It’s available for pre-order now at Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble or your local independent bookseller.

FEBRUARY — THE LONGEST MONTH OF THE YEAR

If you look at the calendar, February appears to only have 28 days. But when you’re sitting up here in snow country, and you’ve just gone through the blistering cold of December and January, February feels about 50 days long. I’m freezing my ass off and wondering if Spring will ever come.

FACT: Marshall flew down to the Caribbean yesterday. His ass is not freezing. It’s spending seven glorious days in the sun. The summer sun.

Right now, I’m hard at work on two fronts. First, I’m trying to get the promotional stuff organized on CUT, PASTE, KILL. Blog tour, appearances, publicity, site changes — it’s quite a challenge

FACT: Right now, I’m betting Marshall is stretched out on the beach and his biggest challenge is deciding where to go for dinner.

I’m also up late into the night working on the book that I’m co-authoring with James Patterson. The last thing I want Jim to think is that I’m not putting in the hours.

FACT: Mr. Patterson knows Marshall is on vacation, and I saw his e-mail that read, Dear Marshall, Have fun in the Caribbean. The only thing I ask is that this time you register under your name, not mine.

As I look out the window, the snow is coming down hard. Everything is white.

FACT: Except Marshall, who I’m sure will be tan.

And so, dear reader, with all that work I have on my plate, I’m sure you’ll understand why this post is not full of the usual bon mots and witty remarks.

FACT: I’m sure Marshall has a lot on his plate — but none of it has to do with work. As for what this post is full of — well, you be the judge.