Lomax and Biggs

DEAR SANTA...

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 21:54:24 +0000

POT LUCK DINNER AT THE FIREHOUSE, AND WE CAST THE TV PILOT.

Tue, 09 Nov 2010 16:57:20 +0000

It’s another slow news day here in upstate New York. Not much to blog about (unless you’re interested in the Pot Luck Dinner at the firehouse on Friday.) But then along comes this little notice out of Hollywood. Lionsgate and TNT have cast Steven Weber and D.L. Hughley to play Mike Lomax and Terry Biggs in the pilot for The Rabbit Factory. Everything I know is right here at this link If there’s any more news (about the pilot or the pot luck dinner) I’ll pass it on.

WOUNDED KNEE, THE SEQUEL

Fri, 15 Oct 2010 09:19:49 +0000

On Tuesday I was bowled over like a ten pin by 140 pounds of charging canine — my dog Kylie (50 lbs) and her hulking 90 lb boyfriend Mikey. They were horsing around (dogging around? ruff housing?) and my knee got caught in the crossfire. I crumbled like a taco in a food fight and spent the next three hours in the ER. Nothing’s broken but my right knee (formerly known as my good knee, since my left is a candidate for replacement surgery) is in an immobilizing cast, and if I want to go anywhere for the next few weeks I have to hitchhike, bum a ride, or find some drunken chauffeur at a seedy bar down on the docks and shanghai him. On the plus side I have some cool new crutches and prescriptions for the kinds of painkillers you can flip for a serious profit on the internet. This is one of those posts that has nothing to do with Lomax or Biggs or my books — unless of course you feel so bad for me that you buy the complete set and give it to your boss for National Boss’s Day on Saturday. And for those of you who really care, let me ease your fears. Both dogs are fine.

Q&A ABOUT L&B

Wed, 29 Sep 2010 14:59:13 +0000

So this guy Scott Butki had a problem.

I'd just left some jobs and had a lot of worries on my mind and what I needed was a book that could distract me while also making me laugh.

And then he stumbled on Cut, Paste, Kill.

Cut, Paste, Kill: A Lomax & Biggs Mystery did that and more — it surprised and delighted me, engaged me, made me laugh out loud a few times (which is normally not the case, at least for me, when reading books about serial killers).

Turns out Scott writes a book column for newsvine and blogcritics, so he asked if I’d subject myself to an interview. Me? An interview? Is he kidding? I’m the kind of guy who fills out a warranty card for a new electric toothbrush and where it says OCCUPATION (optional) I put down WRITER (see attached 3 pages for details). Anyway, for those of you who can’t get enough of me, here’s Scott’s interview.

LOMAX & BIGGS & LIONSGATE & TNT

Fri, 10 Sep 2010 15:03:23 +0000

There was a time in my life when I used to sit around waiting for the phone to ring. I was hoping Hollywood would call. Then one day they called. And for the next ten years I wrote a dozen pilots, sold two, moved to Los Angeles (leaving my wife and kids in New York), wrote and produced a bunch of sitcoms and worked with some really fun, talented people and some not-so-much-fun Hollywood assholes. I loved TV, but not LA, so I finally moved back east and eventually created Lomax and Biggs. Right off the bat I started killing off some of the same jerks I had worked with. After the second book my agent told me to stop killing the people who could buy Lomax and Biggs for a TV series. So I did. And sure enough, the phone rang. Lionsgate wanted to develop my characters for TV. I didn’t go nuts. I just said okay, as long as they don’t try to turn Mike and Terry into vampires or whatever’s popular this season. That happened last September and I don’t remember if I even wrote a post about it on this site. That’s how little faith I have in the Hollywood dream. In February Lionsgate sold the concept to TBS who ordered a pilot script. I still kept my expectations in check. Earlier this week my agent called to say that the project is now with TNT (which makes more sense for a cop show) and they greenlighted the pilot for production. The script is damn good. It was written by Allan Loeb whose newest movie Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps will be released later this month. I wasn’t going to tell you just yet, but it’s in the trades and since one of my readers posted it on my Facebook wall, and since so many of you have written to ask why they don’t turn my books into a series, I thought I’d let you know that casting is now underway for the pilot. It’s only one episode, and Hollywood being Hollywood I’m not going to start dreaming about the next 99. I’m certainly not going to sit around waiting for the phone to ring.

IN LOVING MEMORY OF JOE DRABYAK, 1950 — 2010

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 18:45:27 +0000

My friend Joe Drabyak died this weekend. For those of you who never had the honor of knowing him, Joe sold books. Of course, that’s pretty much like saying Michelangelo painted ceilings. Joe was a bookseller with an international reputation. He worked at the Chester County Book and Music Company and was the President of NAIBA — the New Atlantic Independent Booksellers Association — where he was a driving force dedicated to the promotion, professionalism, and preservation of indie bookstores. I met Joe at the Winter Institute in Portland, Oregon in January 2007. First thing he said was “I know who you are, your sales guy gave me The Rabbit Factory in manuscript, and I’m handselling the hell out of it.” I found out later that I wasn’t the first newbie author to get that kind of a reception. Joe didn’t spend a lot of time promoting the careers of writers who were already selling books by the carload at Wal-Mart. He loved to discover new authors, and then pass them along to his customers. He also loved being turned into a fictional character. When I met him he was already in a number of books, and I was happy to use his name in Flipping Out. He said there were no restrictions, so I made him Jo Drabyak, put him in a flower print dress and then put a bullet through his head. He loved it so much that when I did a book signing at his store Joe showed up in drag as Jo. Four months ago Joe got the bad news. Shortly before his sixtieth birthday he was diagnosed with inoperable renal cancer. He tackled it with the same enthusiasm as he had for anything in life, and his email updates on his chemo were filled with optimism and good humor. But a month ago it became clear that the chemo had failed. Joe was out of options — except for a few extraordinary measures that might prolong his days, but most likely leave him clinging to life, but totally debilitated. He decided against them and opted for as much quality of life as he could get. “I want to go out as Joe,” he told me. Two days ago he did, displaying his characteristic humility, dignity, and grace to the very end. He leaves behind his mother, his sister, his fiercely devoted wife Reggie, hundreds of grateful authors, thousands of loyal customers, countless friends and colleagues, and a lifelong legacy of commitment and contributions to the retail book industry. One final word: Joe always hoped that fifty years from now scholars would discover his name in dozens, even hundreds, of books. “I’d like to be the South Park Kenny of popular fiction,” he said. “Killed over and over again, and always resurfacing.” So if there are any authors reading this, consider using the name Joe Drabyak in your next book. And if you want to kill him, that would be fine with him. Because what you’ll really be doing is helping keep Joe alive.

REPORT FROM THE PASSENGER’S SEAT

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 14:42:08 +0000

It’s been six days since I set out on my month long quest to do nothing. Much to my amazement it’s a lot easier than I expected. Of course, my definition of nothing may be your version of an Incredibly Productive Day. Take yesterday, for instance. I spent about two hours emptying cartons of books and stacking them on newly built bookshelves. It was very cathartic, very gratifying, but technically it doesn’t qualify as mindless sloth. However, the rest of the day had zip, zilch, and zero written all over it. Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle. (Thursdays and the weekend are a chore. Tuesday is cake.)

Playing fetch with Kylie. (She did all the work.)

Stopping to smell the flowers. (The bees were busy as hell. I just inhaled.)

Watering the tomatoes. (It may sound like work, but it’s so much easier than shopping for them.)

And my crowning non-achievement, watching Oprah. (The ultimate in doing nothing).

Of course, I did bend the rules a little by snapping pictures and documenting all that inactivity. But I did that for you. It’s the least I could do.

THE MOST DIFFICULT JOB IN THE WORLD (FOR ME)

Thu, 12 Aug 2010 09:06:12 +0000

I am about to tackle an incredibly challenging — virtually impossible — job. It’s something I’ve never done before, although I’ve often wondered… given the chance, could I actually do it? I have no experience. I have no training. And I’m certainly not hard-wired for it. But for the next 30 days I’m going to give it my best shot. The challenge — doing nothing. Doing nothing does not come easy to a lot of us. And in my case, I’m a first born, and my Do Nothing gene (if I ever even had one) atrophied as soon as the doctor cut the umbilical cord on the next Karp in the chain. I’m an action junkie. A multi-tasker. Long before call waiting, I could be seen with a telephone plastered to each ear. (My only excuse is that it was during my Hollywood asshole period.) As technology improved my ability to telescope evolved, and today, I can check my email, watch closed captioned TV, and work out on the elliptical trainer, while talking to my wife on the phone, who is usually saying “are you paying attention? It sounds like you’re doing something else.” Last month I finished my next book, a standalone thriller I coauthored with James Patterson to be released in June 2011. I immediately took a five-day vacation, came home and announced that today was the first day of the rest of my life. What should I do next? Later that day I wound up in the ER and had my appendix removed. So technically, today is the seventeenth day of the rest of my life and the only thing I want to do next is nothing. Nada. Rien. Gurnischdt. That doesn’t mean I’ll be in suspended animation. I’ll write. I’ll read. I’ll exercise. According to the rules I set for myself there are lots of things I can do legally when I’m doing nothing. The trick will be to do what I want to do, when I want to do it. Without goals. Without deadlines. Without pressure. A few questions before I head off into the Velterein: Have you ever just done nothing? Would you want to? And most important — could you? And yes, I do find it rather ironic that the first thing I had to do at the beginning of my Do Nothing Period is to sit down before breakfast and bang out a post about it.

I’M BACK. MINUS AN ORGAN.

Sun, 08 Aug 2010 20:49:42 +0000

Did you notice I’ve been off the grid for almost two weeks? Don’t answer. I’d like to think you did. It all started when I woke up in the early hours of July 27 with stomach pain. You know when you were a kid and you had a bellyache, and your mother, your father (or if you were a kid in a Disney movie, Dwayne Johnson) asked where does it hurt, and you said “all over”? That pain. It was worse in the morning, but as good fortune would have it I was about to go off and spend the day with my friend Pags, who’s a kidney doctor. Pags checked me out, gave me some antacid and we hung out waiting for it to get better. It got worse. Instead of going out to lunch he drove me to the ER where I was admitted and the docs began to test for age appropriate disease. Having eliminated gallbladder, diverticulitis, and the possibility that maybe the old fool swallowed his car keys, they gave me a Cat Scan. Bingo. They found an inflamed appendix. I had two choices. Immediate surgery with the surgeon on call, or try to track down another surgeon whose reputation I was more familiar with. That’s like giving a cop with a ticking time bomb the option of hanging out till they can find his favorite bomb squad team. I opted for the total stranger who showed up at my bedside with a scalpel and a smile. Two hours later, I was in recovery, minus what amounts to be a rather useless organ at any age. The appendix, I learned, is a worm-shaped vestigial appendage — the shrunken remainder of an intestine from a remote ancestor. Evolutionary baggage that serves no real purpose. Kind of like Ryan Seacrest on American Idol. Appendicitis is more common among people ages 10 to 30, but my doc says there’s a resurgence after 60 and once did an appendectomy on a man 5 days before his one hundredth birthday. I’m guessing the appendix was waiting for the guy to die, and he just wouldn’t cooperate, so it threw in the towel. I’m not expecting any feedback on this post. As blogs go, this one, like my departed organ, is pretty uninspired. But you know what I’ve found over the past two weeks? Tell someone you just had emergency surgery, and they can’t wait to spill their guts out about the time some doc split their gut open. So, feel free to share your medical history. Preferably the stuff that would make us smile and not cringe. Just be aware that you’re not covered by HIPAA.

KYLE WARREN: A DIFFERENT BREED OF MAN

Sun, 25 Jul 2010 19:54:24 +0000

Kyle is my dog trainer. Eight years ago when I rescued my black Lab, Jett, she had all the charm of a junkyard dog. She had flunked out of Obedience School, and I was ready to give up on her when I found Kyle. Jett started behaving on the very first session. But the real magic happened after Kyle left. She continued to behave for me. That’s because Kyle spends as much time training the handlers as he does training the dogs. And now, for those of you who’d like to see Kyle in action, there’s a documentary called Canine Instinct. Directed by Nicholas Goodman it has been in film festivals from Buffalo to Honolulu. Here’s the trailer: The film was shot two years before Jett died and she and I have a short scene in the movie. If you’d like to buy the DVD, here’s the link. But I’m not recommending it because I’m in it. I’m recommending it to anyone who loves dogs and wants to get a glimpse into one man’s philosophy of how to build a relationship with your dog based on love, trust, and respect. Kyle Warren’s approach has changed the lives of thousands of dog owners. I’m one of them.

THE OTHER F-WORD.

Tue, 06 Jul 2010 12:37:00 +0000

I like to think of the people who read my books as, well… as Readers. But many of you prefer the F word. Fans. According to Webster’s, a Fan is an ardent admirer or an enthusiastic devotee — probably short for fanatic. It’s an unnerving word for an author. I mean I’ll get an email that says, “Dear Marshall, I’m your Number One Fan,” and think, oh shit, that’s what Kathy Bates said to James Caan in Misery just before she hobbled his ankles with a sledgehammer. But after four books, I’ve come not only to accept your ardent admiration and enthusiastic devotion, but to totally appreciate it. Many of you have bought Cut, Paste, Kill, read it, then told your friends, lobbied your libraries and your local bookstores to carry it, and posted brilliant reviews online. As of this posting I have eleven reader reviews on Amazon — every one of them 5 stars. Writers can only write books. It’s readers who sell them, and nothing drives the online book engine like a whole bunch of readers heaping praise and stars. So to all those of you who read Cut, Paste, Kill and took the time to hype, pimp, shill, thank you. And if you didn’t, we’re still cool. I am grateful for your fandom. As long as you don’t show up with a sledgehammer.

HEY, SCOTT — YOU LEFT OUT THE PART WHERE I TURN WATER INTO WINE.

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 07:55:00 +0000

Scott Coffman is the book reviewer for the Louisville Courier Journal. His reviews for my first three books read like they were written by my adoring family — except for the fact that my family doesn’t adore me nearly as much. Then along comes his review for Cut, Paste, Kill. It’s so glowing that at first I was almost embarrassed to reprint it. Then I thought — am I out of my freaking mind? Commerce trumps humility, so here it is: BOOK REVIEW | 'CUT, PASTE, KILL' WISECRACKING DUO CRACK THEIR CASES BY SCOTT COFFMAN • SPECIAL TO THE COURIER-JOURNAL • JUNE 26, 2010 This outstanding fourth chapter in the canon of Detectives Lomax and Biggs provides further proof of the indisputable: Marshall Karp writes the funniest dialogue in the detective genre. If you have not yet read the Lomax and Biggs books, you simply must start. Repulsive killers find themselves sacrificed under identical circumstances; two in Los Angeles and one in Oregon. Lomax and Biggs -- the jauntily bantering duo at the heart of this winning series -- join forces with the FBI to attempt to solve these cases. All the victims were murdered similarly, and were left with a detailed scrapbook that recounted their lives and crimes, from which they escaped prosecution for various reasons. Evidence in one case leads to a Chinese restaurant, and the owner eventually describes for the police artist a woman who turns out to be actress Betty White (turns out the older owner is a Golden Girls fan and most old white women look alike to her). Lomax and Biggs have a field day cracking wise about that identification, just as they do with most every other aspect of the case. Despite the humor, they really are good detectives. After a great story and the introduction of many memorable characters (and some terrific red herrings) the case is successfully solved: The fun is getting there. On the home front, Big Jim Lomax (Mike's dad) has partnered with Terry Biggs to work on a screenplay that is all the funnier because it reasonably sounds like a project that might be pursued in Hollywood despite sounding plain old bad. Mike makes fun of the project throughout the book, but is it because he is truly amused or is he perhaps jealous that Terry is spending time with his Dad? Near the end this ill-advised movie project provides a line that surprised me with such joy that I literally fell on the floor laughing. As with all the books in this series, the major and incidental characters are lovingly created and memorably drawn. Author Marshall Karp is an exceptional wordsmith. The storytelling is so entertaining that it demands that you read just one more page and then another until you realize you've finished the book. With series titles, I normally recommend starting with the first book, but "Cut, Paste, Kill" would be the perfect introduction to this addictive series: The repartee crackles with great humor, the characterizations are vivid, the narrative flow impeccable, and you'll be stunned by the triple-twist at the end. It's a perfect example of what makes this series great. With Lomax and Biggs, author Marshall Karp has created a pair of detectives who will be long remembered with the great creations of the genre, and you would be wise to join the bandwagon. This is a great starting point. _____________ Here’s the link to the review. If you know anyone who has a beach read in their future, please share it. Thank you for supporting my life of crime.

I’M LEAVING MY WIFE FOR ANOTHER WOMAN.

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 12:19:30 +0000

Actually, I’ll only be leaving my wife for the day. And that hairy legged, hairy lipped, hairy chested vision of pulchritude on my arm is not just “another woman.” She’s Joe Drabyak, the best damn bookseller in the free world, and the only one I’d drive 400 miles for on a beautiful Saturday in June. This Saturday, June 26, at 1 pm I’ll be reading from CUT, PASTE, KILL, signing, and cutting up with Joe at the Chester County Book & Music Company in West Chester, PA. I met Joe at a bookseller/author Schmoozefest in Portland, Oregon three years ago, and loved him from the get-go. (He had me at “hello, my name is Joe Drabyak, and I’ve been recommending your book The Rabbit Factory to everyone who walks in the store.”) And what a store it is. Even if you’re a diehard e-reader, CCBMC is worth the trip. It's 38,000 square feet of paradise for anyone who loves books, music, and movies. And if you enjoy New Orleans style cuisine their in-store restaurant, The Magnolia Grill, is so good some people show up just for the food. Chester County Book & Music Company has everything — and this Saturday at 1pm it’s also got me. So come on down (or up, or over) and meet me and Joe. Oh yeah… about that dress. It’s not a wardrobe malfunction. When I met Joe he told me that several authors had made him a character in their books and he loved it. So in Flipping Out I created Jo Drabyak, and then put a bullet through her pretty little head. Joe/Jo reciprocated by showing up at my last event in drag. And while I hate to disappoint you, I’m sorry to say that this Saturday Joe will not be wearing his pearls or his pound and a half of makeup. Which is really too bad — he’s not nearly as pretty as a guy.

LOOK MOM, I’M A KINDLE COMBO.

Sun, 13 Jun 2010 08:08:17 +0000

For those of you who prefer Kindle over paper, I’ve just become the Blue Plate Special at the Amazon Kindle Café. Amazon has put together the Marshall Karp Combination — The Rabbit Factory and Bloodthirsty all in one e-book for Kindle readers. And get this — both books can be yours for only $9.99. (That would sound a lot more convincing if Vince Shlomi the ShamWow Guy said it.) For those of you who have already read those first two books, the Kindle versions of Flipping Out and Cut, Paste, Kill are also available on the Amazon ala carte menu. And finally, for those of you who visit this blog to read my random rants, vapid insights, and ponderous non-sequiturs, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but every now and then we interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to help pay for all the free stuff. So please, buy a book. Or buy the combo. And no, you don’t get fries with that.

ESTHER SCHINDLER SAYS CUT, PASTE, KILL IS “PERFECT SUMMER READING.” AND SUMMER STARTS IN 2 WEEKS.

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 16:07:11 +0000

Lomax and Biggs and I have gotten some great reviews along the way, but this one’s a killer. Esther Schindler is one of the top reviewers on Amazon. She ranks #106 out of about a zillion. So when Esther gives your new book 5 stars, you want to share it with the world, and shout out — “look everybody — Cut, Paste, Kill made Schindler’s list.” Here it is in its entirety: Perfect, PERFECT escapist mystery reading By Esther Schindler (Scottsdale, AZ USA) June 8, 2010 The only mystery left in my brain, after reading this latest novel by Marshall Karp, is why his books aren't stuffed into the best-seller racks in airport bookstores. Perhaps it's because a high Karp Book Density might disturb all the flight attendants, with so many passengers giggling throughout the trip. But truly... Karp has been one of my best discoveries of the past few years. His mysteries are non-obvious, the plots are engaging, and the wise-cracking duo of Lomax & Biggs -- police detectives in Los Angeles -- make me crack up. When the author offered me an Advance Reading Copy of Cut, Paste, Kill, I said ever-so-decorously, "YES YES YES!" In this novel, the detectives need to solve a "scrapbooking" mystery. The serial killer leaves behind at each murder scene a well-crafted scrapbook documenting the victim's sins and evidence about why the individual needed to be punished. Lomax and Biggs have to figure out who's killing these people and put the murderer behind bars... even if they personally agree with the killer's sentiments. That doesn't sound like the ingredients for a book that will make you laugh out loud in the middle of a crowded plane (even if you have been denied your god-given right to free peanuts). But Karp's characters are truly wonderful, and their wisecracking balances the hard facts of the murder case. (Early in the story, they are teamed up with a female FBI agent; they're asked if they have a problem working with a woman. "'Hell no,' Terry said. "At the end of a tough day chasing bad guys we don't care if our boss goes home and slips into a sexy little cocktail dress. It'll be almost like working for J. Edgar Hoover himself.'") Karp's strength, though, is that these aren't cardboard comedians; I have become extremely fond of the recurring characters and I want to know what happens next in their lives. The storytelling pace is infectious, causing a reliable "I'll read just one more chapter before I go to sleep... well maybe just another..." even with an 8am meeting scheduled the next day. Incidentally, you wouldn't have to read all the previous books in the series to appreciate this novel. If you're a dedicated scrapbook fan, for instance, you will certainly enjoy Cut, Paste, Kill without the earlier novels' back story about Lomax's romance or their movie deal gone sour. It stands alone rather well, which is becoming unique in the mystery genre. I doubt you will be able to resist going back to read the other books in the series later... but it's fine to read them out of order. The bottom line is that this is perfect summer reading -- ideal for a lazy Sunday afternoon or a holiday beach read. If you want a great "entertain me!" murder mystery, I don't think you can do better than Cut, Paste, Kill. Highly recommended... at least for people who like to giggle. ______________________ For those of you who are willing to take Esther’s word for it, here’s a link to buy the book now.